The workplace of today is a different place to the workplace of the past. In the last 20 years, specifically, we have grown to become dependent on a need for things to happen immediately and to not think twice about how we communicate with each other.
We have replaced genuine human interaction with technological communication and as a result, we have been left with the same traditional workplace problems but fewer human solutions to solve them.
This often leads to feelings of inadequacy, excessive pressure, stress and ultimately burn out and conflict as people struggle to manage their emotions to cope.
Emotional intelligence has emerged as a crucial skill set for navigating these situations more effectively. Unlike technical expertise, emotional intelligence focuses on understanding and managing emotions, open communication, deep listening, empathy, and constructive problem-solving.
By honing and developing these skills, people can begin to express themselves more positively, they listen more deeply, and regulate their emotions during tense situations, leading to more productive conflict resolution.
Thankfully, managing conflict in the workplace is something that everyone can learn to do effectively just by using their emotional intelligence.
The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Conflict Resolution
To start managing conflict in the workplace more effectively using emotional intelligence, we must first understand what emotional intelligence is and why it is so important when it comes to managing the emotions that people experience in times of conflict.
As defined by Dr. Steven Stein, Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) encompasses the ability to recognise, understand, and manage one’s own emotions effectively, as well as the capability to perceive and influence the emotions of others. It involves a combination of self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management.
Individuals with high emotional intelligence can navigate complex social situations with empathy and insight, communicate effectively, build strong relationships, and adapt to changing environments.
In essence, emotional intelligence represents a fundamental aspect of human behaviour that underpins successful interactions and interpersonal relationships in both personal and professional settings.
In short, Dr. Stein indicates those with higher EQ (emotional quotient), are more able to manage conflict and stressful situations more positively than those with a lower EQ. The good news is that EQ can be developed and strengthened.
Strategies for Managing Conflict with Emotional Intelligence
Self-awareness and an ability to see things from other people’s perspectives are key to managing conflict in the workplace. Understanding yourself and others can be pivotal in the way that you use your interpersonal skills to diffuse situations or influence people to come around to your way of thinking.
Steven Covey famously said that “people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply”. This means they are not really listening. When you are not listening, and when you are more focused on your answer, you may miss vital messages or fail to comprehend or evaluate the message. Listen to what is being said but also, listen to what not being said.
If what you are hearing is unclear, follow up with a clarifying question. Ask for more details. Consider their point of view and where they might be coming from before firing back with your views.
When it comes to creating strategies for managing conflict, here are some examples of emotionally intelligent approaches to common workplace conflicts:
Active Listening and Empathy:
Rather than immediately reacting to a conflict, take the time to listen actively to the concerns of others. Demonstrate empathy by acknowledging their feelings and perspectives.
Example: “I understand that you’re frustrated with the current situation. Let’s discuss how we can work together to find a solution.”
Collaborative Problem-Solving:
Instead of placing blame or seeking to win the argument, focus on finding a mutually beneficial solution. Encourage open dialogue and brainstorming to explore different options.
Example: “Let’s set aside our differences and work together to come up with a solution that addresses everyone’s concerns.”
Assertiveness and Boundary Setting:
Clearly communicate your own needs and boundaries without resorting to aggression or hostility. Respectfully assert yourself while also considering the needs of others.
Example: “I appreciate your input, but I need to express my concerns as well. Can we find a compromise that works for both of us?”
Emotional Self-Awareness:
Recognise and manage your own emotions to prevent escalation of conflicts. Practice techniques such as deep breathing or taking a break to calm down before responding.
Example: “I’m feeling frustrated right now, but I know it’s important to approach this conversation calmly. Can we take a short break and revisit this later?”
Constructive Feedback and Criticism:
Offer feedback in a constructive and respectful manner, focusing on behaviours rather than personal attacks. Frame criticism as an opportunity for growth and improvement rather than as a negative judgment.
Example: “I value your contributions, but I noticed there were some errors in your report. Let’s discuss how we can work together to improve in the future.”
Conflict Resolution Mediation:
If necessary, involve a neutral third party to facilitate communication and resolution. Ensure that all parties feel heard and understood throughout the process.
Example: “It seems like we’re having difficulty finding common ground. Would you be open to having a mediator help us work through this?”
Tips for Managers: Handling Conflicts using Emotional Intelligence
As mentioned earlier, the evidence shows that great leaders typically have a higher EQ. Specifically, they tend to be more self-aware and empathetic. If you are a leader and looking for tops on how to handle conflict in the workplace using emotional intelligence, you can start by developing your self-awareness. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Do you understand yourself and your own emotional triggers?
- Do you listen to others and allow them to speak?
- Are you collaborative?
- Do you act impulsively or are you more composed?
- Are you aware of your impact on other people?
- Do you micromanage people or allow them autonomy?
- Is your way the only way?
Becoming self-aware takes effort and a willingness to be honest with yourself. It is a constant process of introspection and reflection.
One way to develop your self-awareness is to regularly check in with yourself to identify your emotions, thoughts, and behaviours and how you react in different situations.
Seeking feedback from others can also provide valuable insights into how other people see you. Identifying blind spots between how you see yourself and how others see you can be the basis for powerful self-development when it comes to the way you lead and manage.
Enhancing your Conflict Resolution Skills with Emotional Intelligence
Enhancing your conflict resolution skills as a manager, can be done by leveraging and looking for opportunities to use your emotional intelligence strengths, and fine tuning the areas you need to develop.
We suggest an ‘awareness-listening-understanding’ approach. Be receptive to feedback and to always bettering yourself as a mediator in situations of conflict. Here are some other sugegstions:
Embrace Those Emotions:
Managers should engage in introspection to understand their own emotional responses, biases, and triggers in conflict situations.
Focus on Listening
Practice focused listening to grasp the underlying emotions and concerns of employees involved in conflicts.
Develop Understanding
Cultivate a deep understanding of others’ perspectives and emotions by actively empathising with their experiences.
Communicate with Confidence:
Learn to assert yourself assertively and respectfully while also considering the needs and viewpoints of others.
Become a Master Influencer:
Invest in building skills and knowledge in conflict resolution methodologies, such as mediation or negotiation techniques.
Above all, remain receptive to feedback and actively seek opportunities for personal and professional growth to continually enhance emotional intelligence capabilities.
Conclusion:
In the end, when people have differing views and agendas, there will always be conflict. Differing viewpoints can bring about new ways of thinking, positive improvements, and great decisions.
When conflict becomes unhealthy and leads to a culture of toxicity, that is when you need to have the right strategies in place when it comes to managing conflict in the workplace in a positive and professional way that gets everyone back on board.
If you are a leader and looking to develop your emotional intelligence to respond effectively to conflict in the workplace then EQ coaching could be for you. In all our EQ coaching sessions, we use the EQ-I 2.0 – the world’s only scientifically validated tool for the measurement of EQ – to support development and bring about real, meaningful change.
Read our case study to see how leadership potential can be strengthened using EQ coaching.